Archive for September, 2008

it’s been so LONG since I have written

Ok.. so WHYis it all my posts start with a off handed apology..

anyway it HAS been a while.. and i think some things have changed.. maybe?

Stalker has not called me or tried to contact me since that night.. YAAAAAAAAAAY

Custody is still not resolved.. BOOOOOO

I haven’t adopted any more animals.. YAAAAYY.. yet…BOOOOO lol

I am still employed & have medical insurance.. BIG TIME YAAAYYYY

i am still single.. (a hesitant) woo hoo..

I have been sticking to my ’saving money’ thing YYAAAYYYY

i got sick and was put back on prednisone.. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i watered my cacti and succulents after 3 weeks.. YYAAAYY

I am still smoking occassionally.. BOOOOOOOOO

I am now the proud single parent of a 14 & SIXTEEN year old.. YAAAYYY.. wait.. um.. ??????

my dogs need a bath BADLY..  STINKY BOOOOOO

i managed to organize, and clean out 3 boxes of crap & a drawer FULL of receipts.. YAAAYYYAAAYYYAYY

STILL do not have a fence for my little pups around the yard.. BOOOOOOOOO

Got some plants together for the Garage sale ….. YAYYYYYYY

we are HAVING a garage sale.. YYYYAAAAYYYYYYY!!!

Aside from that.. I got an offer on my dirt bike.. not a monetary offer.. just a ‘if you want i will take it off your hands’ offer..I am not sure how i feel about that.. I haven’t ridden in a WHILE.. but still.. it’s MY dirt bike I have built up dreams of freedom down an open road & hitting some jumps & CRASHED on that dirt bike.. and i would rather get an enduro Kit & ride it, or have one of my kids ride it.. selfish? I dunno.. it’s paid off & I have to list it as an asset in the custody.. so I am not even sure of it’s Garage sale value, or my truck’s Garage Sale value for that matter.. and I LOOOOVE my truck.. Dodge goes NOWHERE

I am taking a financial course.. and I have spending plans for my saved NOT emergency money.. I was told to have 1000. in emergency money in my bank by a months time.. and to try to get 5,000.00 emergency dollars as an emergency fund ONLY in 3-6 months time.. coming from someone who is not used to saving.. that is a lot of dang cash.. but i am going to try. It’s all for security right?

so.. WHY can’t I just MARRY rich & Secure??….wait.. or one or the other.. crap.. then I would have to date right? .. shit.. Well, i guess it would not be an issue unless the guy I date has kids too, or understands kids.. teenagers.. they take a lot of time and usually some money.. and are TOTALLY worth it. I love my Kids… and since i haven’t dated in YEARS.. I guess i would have to date.. Is it hard? Do they expect you to be smart, funny, charming..I forgot…. and I am SO not good at being something I am not.. are there still Pen Pals? maybe I can start that way….

ANYWAY.. the moral of this Story is I am happy with what I have.. no matter the light it is seen in.. I am Proud SO proud of my kids & a little less  proud of my life.. I am doing good.. I still wish i didn’t have the shyness & the fears when it comes to people.. but.. I like my life.. I love my friends.. no petty daily dramas, and I wish i could do more for their contentment at times…. I work & love my job.. I have goals, and plan to see them carried out.. I want to ride my bike to work daily.. And if anyone wants to volunteer to help me come clean up and do some Heavy duty tree trimming, some fencing {not as in swords play, though I have those too} and can help do chores around a house that is neglected, but Loved… That is how I have been.

anyway.. Life as we know it is good.. until the next time.. LOL

Go play your DS..

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If It Should Be

IF IT SHOULD BE THAT I GROW WEAK

AND PAIN SHOULD KEEP ME FROM MY SLEEP,

THEN YOU MUST DO WHAT MUST BE DONE

FOR THIS LAST BATTLE CANNOT BE WON.

YOU WILL BE SAD I UNDERSTAND,

DON’T LET GRIEF THEN STAY YOUR HAND.

FOR THIS DAY MORE THAN ALL THE REST,

YOUR LOVE FOR ME MUST STAND THE TEST.

WE’VE HAD SO MANY HAPPY YEARS,

WHAT IS TO COME CAN HOLD NO FEARS,

YOU’D NOT WANT ME TO SUFFER SO,

THE TIME HAS COME TO LET ME GO.

TAKE ME WHERE MY NEED THEY’LL TEND,

AND PLEASE STAY WITH ME UNTIL THE END.

HOLD ME FIRM AND SPEAK TO ME.

UNTIL MY EYES NO LONGER SEE.

I KNOW IN TIME THAT YOU WILL SEE,

THE KINDNESS THAT YOU DID FOR ME.

ALTHOUGH MY TAIL ITS LAST HAS WAVED,

FROM PAIN AND SUFFERING I’VE BEEN SAVED.

PLEASE DO NOT GRIEVE IT MUST BE YOU,

WHO HAS THIS PAINFUL THING TO DO,

WE’VE BEEN SO CLOSE, WE TWO, THESE YEARS

DON’T LET YOUR HEART HOLD BACK ITS TEARS.

FOR I AM NOW IN A BETTER PLACE,

AND WILL BE WAITING TO SEE YOUR HAPPY FACE.

SO WHEN YOU CROSS THAT FINAL BRIDGE,

LOOK FOR ME ….

I’LL BE STANDING NEXT TO THE FRIDGE

-Author Unknown

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