Had it with the past? A funny thing happened..

July 26, 2008 · Filed under RANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!, Uncategorized

Everyone has a ‘thing’ in their past, whether it is a habit, a mistake or something stupid they said or did.. maybe even a regret, or a person in their life that is a culmination of all the afore mentioned. These sometimes miserable things slowly fade into your past,and stop being relived with brutal clarity..day after day with feelings of hollow dread, or sickening ‘God what have I done & WHY did I let me do it!??!Bad me Bad ME! WHAT was i thinking’ and other self-defeatest / kickin your own ass, thoughts… Well, they SHOULD fade, they are less in your dreams and on the tip of your tongue when you awaken every morning. you grow, you get over it, you move on, you resolve your feelings, and chalk it up as a learning experience or life lesson.. everyone was (or should have been) young and stupid..some of us more than others

Now..y’all know me.. I have passionate dislikes, some more severe OCD tics, but unless you are an abuser of children or animals or LORD FORBID you mess with my babies..noone gets to mess with my babies…. I don’t hate.. I don’t get the urge to.. I don’t have it in me to hate someone for petty reasons.. life is too short to be tainted by simple hate..have a beer lol

But when someone from the past won’t stay in the past.. what then? Someone was so heartlessly cruel and threatening, went out of their way to be hurtful, and cause pain, and cause potential legal issues..now wants to share their joys with you.. 3 years too late, a LIFETIME too late..Yet the goodness in my soul wants me to be positive, I feel annoyance, borderline awe at the audacity, frustration, Panic & mystification.. and why the hell did they NOT ditch my #.. I ditched theirs.. Were they counting on the fact I would always be there for them. and if so.. what kind of person does that make ME? Is it any wonder why I haven’t put myself into dating, over being a single mom with kids? and WHY DO I care that they called.. because I pity them because it is expected for me to forgive? They undoubtedly chased off anyone who cared about them with their attitude leaving just me, an ex to pat them on the head & say ‘there there’ well.. No.. just No..

I may be fatter than I EVER have been in my life.. but I am not puking or panicked, I know i need to lose weight, be more active, but i don’t feel that people HATE me because I am fat.. and if they do.. fuck ‘em.. I have better people I know, and I know love me, appreciate me, miss me, and more importantly, treat me well. and THEY are good people.. DAMN good people.. and my Children, the reasons my heart beats, my ONLY job in life is to give them a better life. I cannot be more proud of who they have become. Ok, I will not gush on and on about my daughter singing a touching solo in a Talent show at a Jr High, and her remarkable self confidence, and beauty.. and my son’s levelheaded thoughts, and ‘make sense in a world that is ridiculous’ intelligence, and his unfailing finickiness when it comes to friends & who he will be around. Gawd they do me proud..

anyhow.. this is a RANT.. and classified as such.. have a good morning

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In with the new

July 9, 2008 · Filed under Daily

ok.. well, My 1st day OFFICIALLY at Princess Cruises was June 16th I took myself to sushi at Geisha. i collected my first paycheck, and took myself to sushi at Geisha.. hey it is within walking distance and SUPER YUM!! sushi.. mmmmmmm

my bro and his family left & after a couple days, things were back to normal. his kids are damn cute & I really did not get enough time to hang out with el Jefe or Bonni.

the 4th went off without a hitch.. aside from my dumb agreeance to MIX beer and margaritas.. yah.. not my best idea..damn you Chuckie.. DAMN YOU! lol Chiefie had to be Drugged heavily because he is afraid of loud noises..like things popping, and bursting, and blowing up around his sweetheart of a head.. understandably really

My dogs are super hot N Spicy.. bored with the heat… they can’t go to the park when it is so hot.. and since it does not cool down till late, their walking schedule is off a bit..

I weighed myself after while and i have lost 15 lbs woo hoo TONS more to go!

I got a pink Nintendo DS so i can play Brainage :) and I now know how to play Soduko.. or whatever..

Dodger is still alive, after some modification of the home …

KATIE S IS COMING FOR A VISIT!!!!!! OMG i am SO excited.. I know it hasn’t been too long.. but I ALWAYS look forward to visits form Katie S. learning, friendship, no DRAMA, ALCOHOL, and she likes me dog CHIEFIE.. (who i am of course partial to)

the Coyotes out here are CRAZY.. Mom (and BELLA) saw some the other day and mom swears that they were MY dogs size.. which is HUGE for a Coyote…but there is a LOT of missing pet posters.

I am planning on going to Primos Karaoke on Thursday for my friend’s b-day. i haven’t gotten out and last night i had a dream.. a dream where a delivery man asked me out.. My first defense was to say no..i don’t date.. but then i ended up going back to him, and giving him my number.. it felt good, not sure about the omen aspect.. but I think it is time for me to mingle with the singles.. mingling may be the line.. because it is a TOUGH pass to get to meet my children.. it may have been easy before.. but now.. it’s a toss up..I don’t want my kids to be tainted by badness.. I want to secure a bond, and make sure this time it is right…. they have enough in their lives to deal with and I am SURE they will speak their minds.. I love that about them.

Katie has decided to make her next B Day an 80’s B-Day..80’s dress, 80’s music.. 80’s movies.. this is going to to be FUN!

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out with the old

July 8, 2008 · Filed under Uncategorized

Good eve boys and girls here is another much anticipated blog from your buddy Barb..

well.. it is Tuesday

that is it.. have a great night..

no, really folk (note the SINGULAR USE) I have been busy on several fronts

I went to my old neighbor’s (actually more family since we grew up…well got older… together.. place in Victorville to house/pet sit. I know it does not sound very exciting, but it was SO nice and peaceful! The weather was nice, the animals were good. All in all it was a nice weekend.

I felt like i looked nice today at work. speaking of work…I started my first official day at Princess Cruises as an actual Employee on June 16th. NO, you cannot get a discount..I don’t get discounts for a year.. hit me up in 2009..lol.. the BESTEST THING IN THE WORLD EVER… I get Benefits soon.. YAY!!! A steady job with people I like, medical benefits in sight.. I feel really good.. darn fine indeed.

with family and such matters.. My brother and part of his family are out for a visit from Tennessee. he came out to goto his 20th high school reunion for Saugus High. I was a little bummed that their step daughter didn’t come out, she’s a kick, but his youngest is funny too.. she is a bit afraid of me.. but really who wouldn’t be at 2 yrs old.. i am the loud, mean dog lady..I expect my dogs to obey.. why not children?

Yah.. have you MET my kids lol PERFECT teenagers.. lol

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Seems like they are getting further apart huh..

June 5, 2008 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged

Ok… i KNOW all of y’all are on pins and needles waiting ANXIOUSLY with bated breath for my next blog..

no?..

Oh, well.. I will continue to amuse myself by pretending to think so, got it?

Well it has been a couple weeks, and I cannot really think of anything SO exciting that has happened.. it’s been dogpark, Kids, cats, feedings, movies.. OH!! I went to the movies with my kids, and niece, and saw Ironman, I was kind of prepared to not like it.. but it was pretty good, not, run out and buy it because I really liked it THAT much ( like Transformers.. I REALLY liked Transformers)..but I laughed a couple times, and the kids enjoyed it as well..

Picking this back up almost a month later..

well.. haven’t been to the dog park since Chief was attacked (and not harmed) by a large Rottweiler named Thumper.. it isn’t so much why we have not gone..it has been busy in my world.. here are a few things..

I paid off my truck (not sure if i mentioned that before)

I just finally finished my profile AND application for Princess cruises to hire me directly. (cross your fingers for me)

Kat BEATBOXED with a friend to a soda song I am hoping to get good video of it soon.. OMG she is so RAD

Kev still has a mohawk, it’s too long.. Kev impresses me daily he is so random and quickwitted.. and has an awesome sense of humor..

i have been working on (and succeeding in) losing weight slowly, and steadily..

oh, yah.. my Daughter graduated 8th Grade.

my RT contact lens has a tear in it & it is my last pair.. and no medical insurance..

seeing that pic above makes me realize, I REALLY need a better bra.. sheesh.. and keep working on the weight thing..lol

I realized that at this juncture, i have 2 teenagers.. 2 HIGHSCHOOL students at 34.. 2 AWESOME, smart, honest, imaginative, morally intact, attractive, comedic kids.. am DAMN proud of them..

A week or so ago.. We saw a Squirrel in the middle of the street, a baby.. hit by a vehicle, and we stopped, pulled him out of the street, and took him home (smart, I Know..) it was young, it was in pain, and I ddin’t know how to help it.. I called the Animal Shelter and they picked her ( i think ) up, and i hope put her to sleep quick and painlessly..

MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER GRADUATED 8TH GRADE YESTERDAY JUNE 4TH!!!!

MY BABY GRADUATED

the brakes on my car need fixing..

I am still single :)

I have an appt on Monday to make the kids happy..

Dodger is still alive.. after 5 billion years.. I would swear he was petrified if he wasn’t still eating, drinking and shedding..

My Cactus, aloes, Euphorbias, Crassulas, and Haworthias are doing beautifully.. does anyone need an aloe? i have some.. heck, I will even ship..within reason…

Do you know that (per CNN News) there are over 1.1 MILLION homes that have been foreclosed on.. can you IMAGINE how many families that is.. how many Children suddenly have no homes, some can’t even go to school.. how many parents are left feeling helpless, insufficient, how many lives that have been destroyed? How many animals are abandoned, dumped at shelters.. it’s sick and appalling really..

\

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Wants and aspirations..

May 17, 2008 · Filed under Uncategorized

Ok, so, you know me, you know I start a lot of sentences with..” I want to.. ” yet rarely get to say i accomplish the feat.. well

I want to fence my yard… if y’all have SEEN my hill..stop laughing!! SERIOUSLY.., it may be a near impossible thing.. but with Chief’s recent poisoning, and Bella’s recent run in with coyotes… i want a fence.. I have considered electrical, or just blocking off the hill to the dogs but those both have their drawbacks.. Chain link is too expensive, and too intrusive with nature.. Bella LOVES the freedom of the hill, but Chief. we can’t trust.. and I EVENTUALLY want to consider fostering older dogs, because I FIRMLY believe no dog should live the twilight of it’s life in a cage with no family or love, JUST because it is old.  I know it will be hard on me, but everyone, everything needs love,and wants someone to mourn, maybe shed a tear, and miss their life when they are gone.. if I can provide that last inkling of love as their soul goes to their ‘Heaven’, it’s the least I can do.. regardless of age.. and it is AMAZING how many people dump off their older animals on shelters, with little to no health problems.. just because they are OLD.. and then get something younger..bastards *end rant* sorry… I REALLY meant this rant to be about the backyard breeders who are responsible for the overpopulating of our shelters, and the deaths of thousands of animals.. oh and the PINHEADS that HAVE to have a ‘purebred’ ..which BTW to keep things even..if someone can explain the ‘pure-bred’ thing, other than being a pompous ass, and knowing your pet is probably just as inbred as a street mutt.. please let me know, because I don’t get it, but would really like to.. seriously this time *END RANT*

I think I have ADD..

did I mention I DESPISE clowns..

and I LOVE Tool.. and purple.. I like purple.. and white..

ANY WAY..I got some new plants.. no new pics are ready yet sorry.. i REALLY like my plants.. since I don’t have the fence.. i now have resorted to clearance plants .. Just kidding.. kinda

ok i need to go to sleep..

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Week Catch up!

April 27, 2008 · Filed under Daily, Uncategorized

Wow seems like forever since I have written!!

Monday was PC’s Team Building event, It was good.. aside from our required Earthquake Testing thing, and my SUNBURN lol.. all in all the day went well..

I FINALLY got my tax money back, so I can Pay off my truck YAY!! One less payment a month that I can put the money towards Gas.. LOL… AND I got to pick up my bikes so I can start riding again.. I got the GUESS Purse ( and matching Wallet) that I have been contemplating getting for almost 2 months… the rest goes to housing, etc..

I watched Cloverfield with Kevin.. it wasn’t bad like i thought it would be.. .. it was actually pretty interesting, and didn’t get motion sickness at all..

Unfortunately, the kids had to go to their Dad’s house for the weekend, I really do enjoy doing errands, and being with them, they are great company.. they were missed.. I did borrow my niece Sara, THANK YOU SARA!!

Saturday started off busy, running errands, and visiting with my sister, then Slowed down, I got to replant some Aloe to take in to work, I thinned the herd on my Aloe out front (no after pic) yet. Kinda Scary lookingand got to take some current pics of the planters and plants around the house:

Front Planter

Then picked back up, I got to go to Becky’s Daughter’s 4th B-Day Party, and visit with Leslie and Becky, and Hilda, who I have not got to visit with in SO LONG!! It really is bad of me to not stay in closer touch.. Something else to work on..

Oh, and some of my cactus are blooming!!

Sunday, I drove out to Acton to donate some dog food, blankets and such to a local rescue/kennel, then FINALLY got to go to the dog park with my dogs.. seemed like FOREVER since I got to spend time with my own Furry babies.. So I spent the rest of the day with them, hanging around the house, trimming trees, doing Laundry etc, etc..

I know I am missing things.. I will have to try to update more often.. this waiting a week is so easy to get behind!!

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A day of Giving.. kind of..

April 19, 2008 · Filed under Daily

Today was the Circle of Hope 5k Walk at Castaic Lake. I had never done a walk, and was pretty excited to be well enough to go on this one in memory of My gramma, Aunt Gayle, and Uncle Mike. I was REALLY bummed my P.O.S. ex wouldn’t let my kids go, because they really wanted to go too.. But that story is for a locked page blog.. I woke up 6:30ish, and it was pretty cool and foggy.. it was nice though.. better than nasty glaring hot.. Chief Looking Forward to the Circle Of Hope Walkthe dogs were WAY excited too, and driving me nuts while I was getting ready..

Anyway, we met up with my sister and her kids, and after snapping a (semi) group shot.. The Walkers.. sans onedid some warm ups after registration, and we were off!! The dogs did great with all the commotion, Good Dogsother dogs, kids, crowd, loudspeakers, clapping.. Chief got a little uneasy when we set out, going under the balloon arch with a crush of others, he was a little skeptical, but went along. I was getting into it and feeling good.. and I had to leave..

Yes, me who rarely does anything, overbooked myself on giving.. I forgot about the walk when i volunteered to help paint at the American legion a couple weeks ago with Princess cruises.. so I had to leave the walk.. I felt HORRIBLE… and REALLY wanted to keep going.. I actually want to do another (short, mind you.. and with pets) walk soon!

The dogs are exhausted.. Chief is worn-out surprisingly more than Bella it seems like.. oh, and I a pretty tired too.. lol, I may take a nap..

I took some plant pics, replanted 2 of my cactus, and put some seeds in a mini greenhouse…

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April 12 2008

April 13, 2008 · Filed under Daily

Another busy Sat, but I did get a little more sleep..Weekends need one more day I think..

Took Bella in to the Vet today for shots & a check up.. and she has lost 11 lbs!! I am SO happy you have no idea.. she was pretty overweight at 92 lbs. She’s still a little heavy, but we have been working on it.. Keeping up with her pills, and taking her & Chief out to the dog park. Chief is another story.. HE is not only getting a little heavy..but he is humping a lot of the dogs at the dog park, which is humiliating for me, and pisses the other dog owners off.. especially since his victims are mostly male.. and he doesn’t mind a 3 some too!! :( NOT happy…

Anyway.. Happy thoughts, I should be able to post some pics of my blooming cactus soon.. SO MANY have buds I am really excited! some of my mammilarias that have NEVER budded have multiple buds! this means i will also be able to label what color the blooms are.. I already have a Mauve/white flower and a white with purple stripe.. Yay Planties!!

I miss my kids when they are at their dad’s house.. I hope they are not too miserable..

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APRIL 10th APCA Happy B DAY** GO ORANGE!!

April 11, 2008 · Filed under Daily

Ok, so this may have been no big deal to anyone else in my little circle of the world.. but DAMMIT it meant something to me!!

The A.S.P.C.A (American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) was founded today in 1866.. they asked that people honor it by wearing Orange.. I did..I wore Orange, my desktop was orange with the pic of the pups in the middle.. Because you know.. these people are the ones out protecting the helpless.

OK.. moving on, because i have a tendency to blather on about animals..

Speaking of, I was thinking of my past pets.. I was thinking of my frogs & stick bugs this morning.. I really want another ‘cage’ insect or amphibian.. Boy has a chameleon cage, but we have not yet gotten a chameleon…

The boy child came back from his beach trip today. feeling sick & feverish.. he just plain ol does NOT feel good…The mom came back from her Spain / Portugal / Morocco trip near out of her mind from exhaustion, and that really is about all.. i signed up to volunteer at work for helping paint the American Legion in Newhall.

Really.. not much else is new.. Katie is back from her trip and editing pics.

ALMOST Friday!! Casual Day!!

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The WEEKEND

April 8, 2008 · Filed under Daily

I should have known better.. no kids, I usually sleep in & laze around he house. er I mean ‘rest’.. Alas.. I did not…

Sat I woke up early & couldn’t go back to sleep..went to the bank, took the pups to the dog park (I tell ya, dog parks are SO addictive!! the dogs have such a great time!!) went to see if my bikes were done, went to a garden shop, I got some strawberry plants, and one of those tiered strawberry pot things.. I have always wanted one.. the finished effect is not quite what I  envisioned.. but.. hey.. Sometimes it\'s MORE than the thought that counts....... got some new cacti too.. New Cacti & a Haworthia‘cuz i needed more.. lol. replanted a cacti.. then of course took pictures, IM’d downloaded all my pics & labeled….for ME that is a lot in one day!!

Sunday was not a day of rest either, I did something I have been planning on doing for a while, I took Chief & Bella to the mobile adoption in Studio City to visit the Volunteer, Sherry who introduced us to Chief (he was Scott then) at the East Valley Shelter. Visited my sister & got some pics then picked up the kids from dad’s hizzy.  all in all it was a good weekend!!

Monday is Next!

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